What marketing and sales have to do with sex

What marketing and sales have to do with sex

Admit it. I had you at the word sex. ;) Aside from this really nasty clickbait, I hope the following will give you some perspective on the broad topic of marketing and sales! As always, I welcome suggestions and ideas for improvement! This article will also change and grow over time.

Table of Contents

Every day I encounter misunderstandings when building networks, customer relationships or trying to make something look attractive.
I'd be lying if I said the whole thing was easy. However, there are a few simple things to keep in mind that make understanding and life a lot easier.

To explain the topic I would like to use a simple and understandable metaphor and that brings us to the initial question: What do marketing and sales have to do with sex? Let's go!

Short note dear reader: The following execution refers to my perspective and that is quite boringly the one from man to woman. 
Whether you love women, men or both, plays thereby no role and should play also generally no role! All you need is love! <3

All you need is love

The initial situation

An artist has created an NFT. He has perceived the topic as a trend and then just put a few digital filters over a picture, minted the whole thing and wrote to a few collectors on Twitter to sell it. Strangely enough, no one buys, but he has landed on many block lists.

The artist asks himself: Why? 

It's simple: As a man, you don't walk into a bar unprepared, approach the first woman you like, and walk right in the door (Hi! Want to have sex with me?). If you try that long enough, it might work out. The question is how many tries you need and whether you want the result in the end....

And believe me, this example is not just theory. I read it almost every day on almost any channel.

How can the artist do it better? A thought experiment:


Before you go out, you shower and put on something chic. As a rule, you look that you are shaved, smells good and the hair (if present) sit well.

Translated: You have a great profile photo in your social media profiles. Ideally, even the same on all channels so that you are recognized. This also applies to your username (if you've thought about it). Your website is visually appealing, neat, mobile optimized and fast. Apart from that, you deliver quality. You give your best and with your offers only the best is good enough!

Target group

You choose the bar that suits you. If you're an accountant, you probably won't go to the biker bar. If you're a surfer, you won't go first to the bar where the stockbrokers meet.

Translated: Determine for yourself who you want to address. This concerns age, habits, hobbies, behavior patterns and ways of thinking. Creating marketing personas can be helpful (I might dedicate a separate article to this). 
If you have researched this well, you will also know as result where the ideal channels are to address these people. Try to think outside the box. The obvious channel is not always the best one.

Three girls and a pizza


You actually find three women in your bar who seem likeable to you. Instead of talking to them right away in a closing-oriented manner, you watch them first. What are they drinking? What's the mood like? How do they appear, do they have male company? In addition, you carefully check whether there is resonance by looking over, smiling and seeing whether it is reciprocated. 

Translated: You experiment with content and test which medium is best perceived by the channels used and gets the most interaction. You look at what your target group shares and prefers to comment on and check if you can adapt that constructively and if it fits to what you offer. Do people respond to your content? Do they comment, like and share? Good job!

Awaken interest

You were smiled at? A woman has started to play with her hair?If this is the case, then you can take heart and speak to the lady.
Not necessarily creative, but if you have observed that she is drinking Cosmopolitan and her glass is empty, this is a good opportunity to appear with a full drink and start a conversation. Keep in mind that your counterpart is probably just as excited as you are and just introduce yourself ;)

Translated: If people like your content start to interacting with them. Ask them questions, start chats with them and get feedback. Ask what you can do better or if there are topics that interest them. This is pure appreciation.

The sales and the conversion

And now let the games begin. You introduce yourself. You listen! You keep listening! You are still listening. Then you carefully start to make yourself interesting. Tell about your mission (what you are doing right now) and your vision (where you want to go) and maybe you carefully mention two "product benefits" (I love to dance and care for endangered baby animals in my spare time).
If you've done everything right - then with luck you won't need a closing question. Maybe it already comes from the other side. Otherwise you will feel when the right time has come. The desired form of conversion is up to you. Whether that is the phone number, a second date or "to you or to me" - as you like!

Translated: Make yourself attractive! Offer added value! Post exciting content that is tailored to your target audience and that is useful, exciting and entertaining! 
It doesn't hurt to include offers in small amounts so that people realize that you're not just doing this only for the fun.
When you realize you're interesting, only then do you direct those people to prepared landing pages, ads, email campaigns or whatever type of conversion or target you're aiming for.

Is it a match?

Conversion failed? 

The point is. If you did all that right, you still might not have gotten a date. A "no" is part of the deal. Caution, sales phrase: Every no brings you one step closer to the first yes.
But more importantly, you've made a good impression at the bar, and if you're lucky, you'll even make a good impression on a few guests who might then go home and tell their girlfriend "Hey, there was a guy there - he'd be a good match for you."

Translated: Just because someone didn't buy, doesn't mean the world is coming to an end! Use the learning effects and get better! Success comes from discipline and perseverance and not from one-time effects. 
If you use closing processes, check the analyses whether people bounce at important points. Adjust them. Use A/B tests when possible. Tests are elementary! Success will not be long in coming!

The metaphor can certainly be stretched even further.

Watch your reputation!

Keyword Brand Awareness / Reputation. If you are already known in the bar / city as a male bum, this will probably not increase your "conversion chances".

If on the other hand you have a solid community, i.e. you are recognized in the bar (and I don't just mean the bartender who greets his best customer) but that other regulars greet you happily because you are known as generous, friendly and reliable, this results in trust and reputation.
This can also be based on knowing each other from the local sports club or childcare group.

Translated: If you constantly insult people with your profiles, deal with discussions and criticism in an unreflective manner, or even spam and harass people, this will not improve your chances of success.
In contrast, friendly, community-promoting behavior is always rewarded, even across channels. Be it through likes, shares, appreciative comments. You benefit from a broad network and image transfer. And believe me one thing. There will be people who inquire about you. At the latest as soon as you are "interesting".

Marketing Phases

To whom does this whole story sound familiar? Right... basically I am describing the phases of a funnel or a flywheel.
Unlike the funnel, the flywheel focuses on people and is designed as an endless cycle, i.e. the process does not end with the conversion as it does with the funnel. 
You might be looking for a partner for life (we'll leave aside the variable duration of the application and getting-to-know phase ;) ) and that means that sustainable action has a positive effect on the chances of success. 
This does not mean that the funnel is bad. You simply choose the right tool for the right purpose. For sustainable community building, customer relationships and even relationships I think the Flywheel process is more suitable. If you are only looking for one night stands, the Funnel might fit the requirements. ;o)

Differences between Funnel and flywheel

Difference between funnel and flywheel



The most important thing is to remember that you are a human being interacting with humans. Treat others as you would like to be treated and that will lead to success in every business case. If you then set up your processes in a structured manner, you will be successful.
I hope you enjoyed this excursion into the world of marketing and sales.
Do you have any ideas or suggestions? Write them to me on Twitter or here in the comments! Please share it if you see a value for people in your network.